Surviving the jungle of downtown Johannesburg

So you think the only jungles in South Africa are in the wild, and have trees and animals, well guess again.
There is a new jungle, one that is far more dangerous and threatening then you’ve heard of before. One with building’s and roads, where you could get killed for lose change, and where the predators aren’t just tabby cats. This place is called downtown Johannesburg, and I advise you to stay clear of it but on the off chance you find yourself there, here is some good advice on how to survive.

I lived one year in downtown Jo-burg and let me tell you it’s a miracle I’m still alive. Johannesburg is the crime capital of the world, and there’s been many a time I wished I was anywhere else, but thanks to God I’m still alive.

I lived there between the age of 13 to 14, and my parents owned a loft space downtown which they converted into a living area. I had grown up in Africa so I was used to violence and crime, when I was 9 I saw people being shot down In front of my house in Liberia, but I was still surprised at what I saw in downtown Jo-burg.

When we first moved in, the loft was empty and we had to fix it up, so my dad asked some of our Africana friends to come and help us and bring there workers, half declined saying it was to dangerous down there, and the other half did it after a long persuasion. Of course they brought they’re guns with them, and they would tell story’s of how a white police officer was in his car at a stop light and 4 black men came up with guns and shot him 5 time.
He rushed to the hospital and somehow pulled through. or how this other white guy was in the downtown area after sunset, and went missing for three days, he was finally found inside the trunk of his car chopped up. Suffice it to say we weren’t the bravest of chaps after that. So the loft got fixed up and we began the hard part, living there.

At first we were scared, but slowly we began to loosen up. But before I talk any further I’ll give these few safety tips.

1. Never leave your car parked on the road after 6:00 pm.
2. Whatever you do always lock your car when you leave it, even if your just going to the corner store to buy cigarettes.
3. Try never to walk around by yourself, always take a partner when you leave your house. This isn’t Europe where it’s safe to walk the streets, even during the day here you should always take a partner and never walk the streets at night.
4. Don’t give money to beggars if they are around where you live. 1 if you give them money then they’ll wait outside your house and always beg, 2 They don’t take showers and they use the bathroom all over your street. I know because we had this old crippled black lady in front of our house who would beg and annoy us every time we’d leave our house. She never moved and pretty soon our doorstep smelled like the sewer.
5. Pickpockets are everywhere. They’re just waiting to strike, so never leave your wallet in your back pocket be a wise guy and carry your money in rolls or if you have to carry a wallet keep it in one of your front pockets. Also be careful with backpacks. I saw a lot of tourists who would walk around with giant back packs, and it’s like a sign saying here I am, rob me. If you have a backpack I would suggest you carry it in front of you.


Anyway back to the story, me and my brother would often go out to buy pirated movies from the blacks vendors on the side of the road. Now that can be dangerous, so I would advise you when going out to carry as little money on your person as possible, and also make friends with the people, fool around with them, crack jokes and try not to be to serious.

One place however that we always steered clear of was Hillbrow, I only ever went there once and that was by accident, my dad was driving back into downtown Johannesburg from Sandton and we got lost he drove down a few roads and before we knew it there was a small sign with graffiti all over it saying welcome to Hillbrow. We had heard story’s from friends and immediately wanted to get out sadly the street we were on was a one way, so we had to go straight. The place looked like a war zone, people everywhere and we where making slow progress, my dad was praying to the high heavens, and us boys were sitting very silently in the back. We stopped and asked a someone who looked like a security guard for directions he started telling us and when he was almost done, we look to the right and this guy was walking up towards us, he lifts up his shirt and there is a machete tucked into his pants, he starts pulling it out and at that second my dad hits the gas and speeds off, all to say we finally made It out of there but we where sure never to get stuck there again.

Time passed slowly for us and different things happened I wish I could tell you all the different story’s I have but they would take up a book, so finally a year passed, a quite eventful year, and we left, but I doubt I will ever forget my time there. And I think it was a good learning process, of course I wouldn’t advise you to do it.

I will now leave you with a few last tips on how not to get mugged, raped, or killed.

1. As you know the highest amount of rape in the world is in South Africa. Of course don’t be alarmed it’s mainly within the black race. But it could happen to you, I mean some blacks believe raping a virgin cures HIV. So I strongly suggest if you’re a women always have a man with you, when going into downtown Jo-burg. Now if there is no man with you and you desperately need to go there, then I would suggest pepper spray. Believe me you do not want to be caught downtown with nothing but a purse to beat off your attacker.
2. Know your way around. Do not just go to downtown not knowing anything, with a pack on your back and a couple grand in your special little belt which hides beneath your shirt and you think no can see it. If its your first time to downtown Jo-burg I would advise you to have a friend who knows the area to lead you around. Also always drive, walking people are the easiest targets.
3. Don’t be an idiot. Its really that simple, be smart and always use your head, of course If you would even contemplate going to downtown Jo-burg then you’ve seriously got some screws lose.


So I’ll leave you with a last story. One day this guy I knew (names Tiago) go’s to a cash machine, now its daytime and there’s a lot of people around, so he puts in his card and types in the pin, just then a guy walks up to him and sticks a knife to his stomach and say’s withdraw this much cash. Tiago does it then the guy with the knife grabs the money and then stabs Tiago 3 times. He was in the hospital for a month and was damn lucky he survived.

So I wish you luck on your tour through the jungle of downtown Johannesburg.